We go through life encountering the many 'firsts'. The numerous highs - the first kiss, the first love, the first child. The indescribable painful lows - the first death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the diagnosis of a terminal illness. The gratification of accomplishments - the first car, the first house, and for some - the first million. These are the things or events that we remember in joy or in commiseration. But there are also the many 'firsts' that are too minute or (perhaps) insignificant and have simply fallen away from our memory - when we first stubbed our big toe, our first heavenly smell and taste of chocolate, the time we were allowed to watch our first cartoon. Like you, I don't remember these but I do remember my first trip to McDonald's. I was ten. Till today, McD fries dipped in chocolate sundae remain one of my all time favourite comfort food. There is nothing else like it.
As we get older, our many 'firsts' tend to be related to bigger events or laced with high end drama and excitement. Starting a new family, expansion of business ventures, experiencing adrenalin-pumping activities - bungy jumping, canyoning, sky diving. Losses can be greater too and amplified - divorce, death, crippling illness. Yet somehow, tenacity allows us to carry on through the highs and the lows and we are dogged in our determination to pull through what life casts our way - whether they are simple, difficult or at times, to the naked eyes, just plain impossible.
2012 has been such a year for me. I started the year living in another country and in just six months I have been to London and back, Hong Kong and back, Sydney and back, left my job, took a career break and moved home. I ran my first half marathon and wrote my first book. And in all these events, each milestone was just the end product of the road travelled. Or as a good friend of mine puts it "the icing on the cake". Without the cake, the icing is nothing more than just a decorative topping, collapsible without the support of the cake and what holds it firmly in place. You can have a cake without the icing but never the other way round.
In March this year, I attended my aunt's funeral in London and bade farewell to her. As sad as I am that she is no longer alive, I will always remember the time we had together. A large part of my passion for cooking I inherited it from her. Her zest for life simply inspirational and her vivaciousness, intoxicating. She had the cake, the icing and then some.
I am a very fortunate woman, to be blessed not just by one goddaughter but two at the same time. We celebrated their first birthday in Sydney recently. The older one took her first step just before her first birthday. She teetered, tottered, fell and got up only to repeat the same process again, countless times. In her own simple ways, she reaffirmed to me the journey is just as vital as the end destination. At times, even more so. If you have your eyes set on the end goal, work towards it and learn from the mistakes. A detoured road or a curved corner, though frustratingly unpredictable, could end up being more fun. I once drove on The Great Northern Highway which links Perth to its most northern port, Wyndham in Western Australia. This highway is the longest intrastate highway in Australia and the longest Australian highway in absolute terms. Don't worry, I only drove a small section of it from Perth to Monkey Mia. Even so, there were stretches of 50 kilometers, at least, where the road was dead straight and the midday heat rose from the asphalt blurring the horizon until you couldn't tell where the road really ended. Each time, there was a passing motorist, we would raise a hand off the wheel, thankful for an interlude from an otherwise tedious journey. The thing was, I welcomed the distraction and it made the arrival into Monkey Mia that much more exciting. In fact, my friends and I would 'humphed' about the drivers who ignored our hand of salute along the way. The journey was simply nicer having that unspoken encounter, the brief distraction, the intermittent irregular bends on the road and it made the road we had just travelled more memorable.
When I reached the finish line at the sundown half marathon recently, my first ever, there was only one word to describe it. Jubilation. My legs ran the last two kilometers in absolute pouring rain and I was soaked right through when my foot stomped across the finish line. The bronze colour medal testified that I was a half marathon finisher and though that was the "icing" on the cake, the elation I felt was for something far greater than that. For the camaraderie I had with my cousin as we trained in preparation for the run, for the support and encouragement my friend gave me as he ran alongside at the beginning of the race (by the way, he sped off after the first 6km:->), for the yummy McD's sausage and egg mcmuffins we wolfed down a few hours after and for the solitary peace I felt as thousands of feet rhythmically pounded the pavement, each living their dream, each having a goal, some faster, others slower but it didn't matter one bit. We ran the race, made new friends, slapped each other "well done!" and the medal, to me, was made all the more significant because it symbolizes the experience I shared with great friends.
The same was true when I typed the last word and finished writing my first book recently. The writing itself took only seven continuous weeks but it was only made possible because of the experiences I had along the way and the prayers and encouragement from family and numerous friends. I started the journey nearly six years ago and looking back, as good as the idea was or the topics I wanted to delve into, I was not ready to do it then. Certain events and incidents shaped me and made me more cognizant of who I am today. Yes, elation filled me when I finally declared the book completed but the book was so much more than just me. God made it possible - the ability to take the time off and the timing of how it all occurred. The support from friends - whether it was the notebook that enabled me to jot down my ideas and thoughts or the constant encouragement and unwavering belief in my ability as a writer. But I tell you why this book is special to me and it is not because it was my first attempt into the foray as an author. It is because I wrote this book within the confines of my own home and in doing so, I made certain sacrifices. Sacrifices which I believe were necessary in order for me to realize what had been in my heart beat for so long. Things which may have been so important to me once, may be less so today.
Whatever your end goal and no matter what it is you encounter as your many 'firsts', remember the journey is more often than not, the ingredient that shapes you, molds you, whisks you, folds you and beats you down so that you can rise again. The end is made sweeter and better because of it. Finish your race but remember who ran alongside. Arrive at your destination but remember how you got there, what you saw and who your fellow travellers are along the way. And as you carefully pipe the icing on the cake, acknowledge that it is only made possible because of the firm foundation and the process the cake had to go through so that the icing can finally rest on top.
Reaching the end is important but the journey to get there is - in one word- priceless.
No comments:
Post a Comment